Deadpool and Spiderman: A hero and a killer unite
by Nadenshka
Summary: Two ultimate badasses make one helluva team!
1. Chapter 1

Dammit Wade, dammit to hell" I all but shouted through my mask. Not another dead body...

He casually sat among the pool of blood, a red and black mask concealing his lifetime of physical and mental scars. I feel sorry for the guy, I really do, but why on earth did he have to kill this dude?! (No Deadpool, he did not have it coming for him...)

Sighing heavily, I looked around for a way to get out of this cursed building. There was always the window...

Before I launch into too much detail...I'll let you know a few things about me (your friendly neighborhood spiderman), Wade (the brutal Deadpool), our 'relationship' (if you could call it that) and how he annoys the living crap out of me at times.

It all began with a dead body, as it usually does with Wade...

One night on my usual city wide patrol, I heard a large amount of sirens at one place. Knowing it had to be serious, I went to investigate the issue. To my shock, I found a headless looking shape lying in what seemed to be some spilt Kool-Aid. Of course, it was blood... Deadpool was a mercenary, an assassin-for-hire at the time, and over this dead body was where we met for the first time. There was a slow, metallic noise, almost like the drawing of a sword. I felt that usual buzzing in my mind, and leapt out of his way, feeling the graze of Deadpool's sharp blade on my covered foot.

"Oh, heyyy! Its the Spiderman! Sorry man, wasn't trying to kill ya, just my knee jerk reaction" he casually laughed off the near miss that could have been my life over. Just as the rage of nearly being killed kicked in, he offered me a blood stained glove to help me up. Unsure if I should be helped up by the guy that almost killed me, I took a risk. The masked man pulled me directly to my feet, but didn't let go. He just stood there shaking my hand for a while. A siren nearby jolted him out of his weird handshaking daydream.

"OK, let's bounce!" He said cheerily, ignorant of the impending doom and police officers. I sighed heavily, and, as you can tell, it will be a regular occurrence with him around.

And that's how I came to meet and unexpectedly befriend such a crazy dude! Of course, thanks to my web-slinging skills we got out of there alright... If it were up to Deadpool, we would have shot our way through the line of police officers. Damn him and his lack of morality. (Oh, don't make that sad face Deadpool, you are kinda likeable)

Aaand back to the elephant in the room - the dead body.

"So, why exactly did you kill this guy?" I asked him.

"Oh, he's a member of the Brotherhood, new but thirsty for the X-men's blood. I had a hunch I should do something. But mainly, I killed him cos I like killing, his evilness was just an added bonus" Wade looked at me and smiled. "Now, wasn't that fun?"

A 'sniff' and a 'snickt' alerted us to a third presence... (Well, fourth if you count the body...)


	2. Chapter 2

Cigar smoke surrounded us like poison.  
"The hell are you freak shows here for?" His gruff voice emerged from the shadows, along with his gruff self. Now I've been called many a thing, a nuisance, a menace, a pest, but never a freak show! That was a first. Wolverine glared at us, claws out.

"Heyyy Wolvie! Long time no see, ya crazy bastard!" Deadpool slung an arm around Wolverine's shoulders like he was greeting an old friend.  
"You better watch who you call crazy, asylum freak"  
Was that...was that a hint of a smile on Wolverine's face?! Wow, of all of the things I expected, this was not one of them.

"Thanks for getting rid of this dude for me, 'Pool, I was just on my way to do so"  
Oh great. Another person just as bloodthirsty as Deadpool. I see how they get along now.

"Now let's get the hell out of here" Wolverine (or should I say "Wolvie"... Actually probably not, I like my innards intact) grumbled, back to his gruff, non-smiling self.

Finally, a rational decision! We high tailed it to the fire escape, and made our way down to the streets, away from the cops.

We split ways with a nod, although I wasn't sure if I'd see them again.

I snuck back into my home, back in my civilian clothes, hoping that Aunt May wasn't awake. Dammit, a light was on. I crept past the living room, hoping to make it safely to my room. Sure, I could bravely fight super-sized giant lizards, and weapon wielding thugs, but Aunt May was a whole other force of nature.

"What do you think you are doing, staying out so late?" Her voice called out. I winced with my whole body, and meekly turned to face the shit-storm I was about to be on the receiving end of.

"I, uh, was out with my, uh, friends! Sorry Aunt May, I should have texted you!" I hoped that she would buy it, and not notice anything out of the ordinary.

She sighed with years of resignation. "Oh, alright. But next time, you better had send me one of those text message things!"

I nodded docilely, and hightailed it to the safety of my room. I shut the door behind me, and flicked on the light, ready to hide away my costume. I glanced at my bed. Wait a minute, I don't recall having a red duvet…

Deadpool yawned loudly. "Hey Spidey, do ya have any snacks kickin' around? Fighting always makes me hungry!"

"DUDE! What the actual hell are you doing here?!" I whispered angrily at him. "And shut the hell up, my aunt is down there."

"Ok, ok, sheesh, way to make a guy feel welcome." He muttered under his breath.

"You came here, uninvited. And how on earth did you know where I live?" I whispered tersely.

"Oh, that? Haha, I read your file! Is there any chimichangas nearby?"

"Out of my house, now. And quietly, I don't want my aunt to have to meet you."

"But where will I go? Last time I slept on the street, some guy tried to steal my blades!"

"Uh, don't you have a house? A flat? A box? I don't care, just please get out of my house."

"No can do, siree. Could I pretty please sleep here? Pweeeaaase! I would do puppy eyes, but I don't think you'd wanna see my face."

I had heard the rumours that Wade's face was beyond repair. He was a reject project of Weapon X, a reject of the Avengers, and definitely a reject of the X-Men.

I groaned. Quietly though, I didn't want Aunt May to come up here and find this crazy bastard in my room, let alone in my house.

"Alright, but you better be gone quickly and quietly in the morning." I hoped that nothing crazy would happen overnight.

"YUSS! Thank you so much, Spidey! I always knew you were nice" Deadpool all but cried.

"So I wasn't nice before I let you stay here..?" I muttered.

Whether he chose to ignore that, or he didn't hear me, Deadpool flopped onto my bed, and started snoring almost right away. I had an uncomfortable night's sleep on the floor, and woke up far too early, but it was better than waking up with the guilt of kicking him out on the street.

I began to get ready for school, when I heard a sleepy yawn. "Ok, out you go, Deadpool! Go fight some bad guys or something"

"Only if you come with me!" He replied, all of a sudden awake.

"Um, no? I have to go to school!" I was shocked at how oblivious he could be, I was already in my uniform.

"If you don't, I'll tell people that you're Spiderman….." He taunted me, grabbed my mask, and jumped out the window. "The game starts now!"

Oh shit.


End file.
